Awkward / Embarrassant

I went bowling with my colleagues. I still suck as much as the last time I played, 3 years ago. And I learned russian pool. It’s interesting, and more difficult than American pool, but maybe not as difficult as French pool.

Je suis allé faire du bowling avec les collègues. Je suis toujours aussi nul que la dernière fois que j’ai joué, il y a 3 ans. Et j’ai appris le billard russe. C’est intéressant, et plus difficile que le billard américain, mais peut-être pas aussi ardu que le billad français.

Came a moment where the duty called. And unfortunately for me, of all toilets available, I managed to get myself the dirtiest one of all. Oh well, such things can happen, no biggie.

Vint un moment où j’eus à me rendre où le roi se rend seul. Et malheureusement pour moi, sur toutes les toilettes possible, j’ai réussi à tomber sur la plus dégueu de toutes. Bah, c’est des choses qui arrivent, y’a pas mort d’homme.

No, the bad, awkward moment was when I got out of the toilet, and the cleaning lady went in right after me, and then started insulting me. What was I supposed to say?

Nan, le pire moment, bien embarrassant, c’est quand je suis sorti des toilettes, et que la dame pipi s’ent engouffrée pile après moi, et a commencé à m’insulter. J’étais censé dire quoi?

And can someone please tell me how to say, either in Russian or in Ukrainian: “It was already dirty as hell when I came in, dammit, and I don’t even know how to make toilets that filthy, so leave me alone already!”? Because I sure as hell could have used the expression.

Et quelqu’un peut-il s’il vous plaît me dire comment annoncer, en Russe ou en Ukrainien: “C’était déjà une porcherie quand je suis rentré, mutain de mortel, et je sais même pas comment dégueulasser des toilettes à ce point, alors fais pas chier mémé!” ? Parce que je m’en serais bien servi, de cette phrase.

Instead, I found myself trying to explain with the very limited words I knew that it was not me. To no avail, I am afraid. I left anyways, because there was nothing I could do. But I think she cursed me for 10 generations.

À la place, je me suis retrouvé à balbutier avec le peu de mots de mon vocabulaire que c’était pas moi. Sans succès, j’en ai bien peur. Je suis parti quand même, parce que je ne pouvais rien y faire. Mais je crois qu’elle m’a maudit sur 10 générations.

And after that, I kept losing at pool and bowling. Coincidence? I don’t think so…

Et après ça, j’ai pas arrêté de perdre au billard et au bowling. Coïncidence? J’en doute…


4 thoughts on “Awkward / Embarrassant

  1. You have been in Canada tOOOOOOooooo long my friend, where has that famous Parisien hauteur and hostility gone???? You should have been able to bring her to tears with an icy stare and a few carefully chosen, though nonetheless elegant words?!?!?!?!?

    Either that or go for the classic anglo saxon ones that it seems EVERYONE on the planet knows, and that young boys/teens are given to trying out whenever they hear me speaking English….


    • Well, how can you be hostile not knowing a single word that she can understand? And shouting angrily at her will do nothing, apart from upsetting her even more. Not proving my innocence.


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